Marco and I were walking down Piedmont Avenue a few weeks ago when we noticed a shelf stacked with three stuffed-animal puppies in the window of one of the odd little stores down there. Each puppy was curled into a ball and tucked into a little blanket, with a hand-written “adopt me” sign beside it. Marco and I leaned in to admire the craziness of the adoption signs when I heard Marco suck in his breath. “Oh my god, are they’re breathing?“ And oh my god they were.

From the Breathing Perfect Pets website:

Here is a great gift idea. These plush dogs and cats actually breathe. They look very realistic when their tummys are moving in and out like they are really breathing. We have several stuffed breatheable dogs and some cats too. These breathing puppies come with their own blanket to lay on and a cardboard carrying case as well as a certificate of adoption and a care manual. These pets that breath are sure to be a great hit!

Do you see the bowls of water in those photos? (Insane.) And the “bad doggy/kitty, you go sleep outside” punishment deck atmosphere? (Totally insane!)