So what’s a girl to do when it’s cold inside, so cold that even the butter won’t spread? Why, hunker down in bed and Etsy her brains out, of course.

A photo print of lawnmower racing gnomes, $10.

A set of toothsome bobby-pins, $8. Please note that they’ve been mounted in “opposite directions for symmetricalness.” You really have to appreciate a turn of mind that concerns itself with the symmetrical challenge of denture clips. I know I sure do!

A family of rock owls, $63. Look at the one in front, all slumped over and fat and so very heavy, oh bird.

A hand-drawn woodgrain pendant (that’s all pencil drawing magic!), $10.

I heart this heart scarf. The $54 pricetag is a bit steep, but all that hand-painting is definitely worth every penny. Just think how great that thing would look on Valentine’s Day!

For him: the stomach snake tee, $17.

For her: the felt stomach ID holder, $13.

And for that special someone: the pacman ghost tooth hoodie, $125. I’m not so sure what’s going on here, I mean the whole store is just giddy with freakiness, but I know what I love! From the catalog copy for this lip thing:

“It will fuck everything into explosive neon gyration. IT WILL KILL REPTILLIANS. It will save the universe gliding into beautious rainbows and unicorns and DMX & Tu Pac all getting manicures and facials.”

How can you put a pricetag on something that will fuck everything into explosive neon gyration? Well it turns out you can: $75. But, psyche! That dream is sold, sold, sold. Psucker!