1. If the outfit you’re wearing now is cuter than the one you’re thinking about buying, don’t.
2. A lapel pin will make you feel better about almost anything.
3. There are few things more depressing to come home to, yet so easy to take care of before you leave in the morning, than a dirty coffee pot and an unmade bed.
4. Gaining weight is just as much of a golden opportunity to go outfit shopping as losing weight is.
5. You can put a price on friendship: It’s the amount it costs to hire professional movers.
6. Never get a haircut when you’re feeling blue.
7. Do some small nice thing for someone you love at least once a day.
8. If you like the way the wine tastes, write down its name and year now! Quick! Before you get too drunk to remember, or write.
9. Set aside a corner of your closet for a Gift Larder, then line it with fun $20-or-less finds—that way you always have something wrappable when emergency gift situations arise!
10. Buy the very best mattress you can afford.
11. Take an alternate route home.
12. Keep your friends close.
13. Floss. Sunblock. 401(k)!
14. Try not to leave the house in anything less than the outfit you’d wish you were wearing if you ran into either the ex, the one you most want to feel the sear of regret for not getting you, and/or The Sartorialist.
15. Don’t save your special items for special occasions—wear those sparkly heels to the hardware store! Put on the $100 underwear for brunch with your mother! Wear the pin you inherited from you great-grandmother, the one with the real rubies, to all-day Diversity Appreciation Training at work! This is your life!