cookies on demand

Monday, mar. 5, 2007   |   0 comments

Here’s a new trick I learned from my friend Sophia: Make up a batch of cookie dough, drop the individual dough balls onto a cookie sheet and flatten them a tad just like your fixing to bake them, only FREEZE THEM INSTEAD! And then when they’re nice and icy, put them into a freezer-safe delayed-enjoyment bag:

This way, whenever you want a hot, fresh cookie injection, you just put one or three frozen doughlets onto a cookie sheet, and pop them in the oven for maybe a minute or two longer than you would normally.

My modified Toll House recipe works especially well: I use just 2 cups of flour (versus the 2-1/4 cups the recipe calls for), double the vanilla (from 1 teaspoon to 2), and instead of chopping the nuts, I use toasted whole pecans.

Then the second those heavenly brown orbs are cool enough to touch — but still melty-melty — go ahead and pound them right into your cookie hole. I like mine paired with a towering glass of iced coffee.

This approach provides a triple bonus: Not only do you get fresh-from-the-oven cookies, which as everybody knows is when cookies are at their very best, and not only does your house fill up with that cookie smell night after night after night, but it slows the typical cookie-eating frenzy down to a sanely glacial pace. Much like the self-administered morphine drip I had in the hospital, the Freezer Cookie Method gives me just enough of what I need without letting me go completely overboard. So where usually a batch of cookies is safe only two, maybe three days around the dangerous gravitational pull of this here mouth of mine, this way I can make a batch last weeks and weeks.

Though of course this method only works if I manage to keep myself from eating the frozen dough, which seems to be my new problem. Sigh! Mayhaps the time has come for a Shockolate Vault?

chili con awesome

Thursday, mar. 1, 2007   |   0 comments

So this morning, at the very dark, cold hour of 6:30am, I was interviewed live on Michigan’s Mix106 Morning Madhouse radio show. After about six minutes of fun chit-chattery, we said our goodbyes, but I stayed tuned because I’d just heard one of the DJs promise that Crazy Train was queuing up. But before Ozzy got a chance to ozz, they did a little more talking about my Sleep book, specifically what excellent bathroom reading they thought it would make because the descriptions of each pose are all so short and sweet, a person could make it through two or three in one “sitting”…or even more, if he or she had “just had chili.” Which…is actually totally true.

I’m now thinking that the book needs to be outfitted with a starburst sticker that reads: “Enjoy 3 bite-sized pose descriptions per sitting, or more if you just had chili!”

pigstar vs. mongoose!

Wednesday, feb. 28, 2007   |   0 comments

This is what happens at Marvany Towers when it rains and rains and Marco stays home from work with me and there are still far too many cupcakes in the freezer.

bring the noise pop! (thursday)

Tuesday, feb. 27, 2007   |   0 comments

For those of you who don’t yet have plans lined up for Thursday, and who have $5 sizzling away in their pockets, and who find themselves in the mood for some sleep talk, it turns out that I’ll be powerpointing it up alongside the fine likes of Gary Rudoren, Eric Hoffman, Salvador Plascencia, Chinaka Hodge, and Wells Tower in “A Night of Instant Calm,” part of the Noisepop Film Festival. After the readings comes a screening of choice Wholphins: “Selections include, but are not limited to: ‘Squid: Born Like Stars,’ in which a scientist has six hours to try and prove his theory that squid are good mothers, with sounds by Colleen; ‘Nice Day,’ the cheapest and perhaps funniest music video ever made; ‘Patton/Byrne’ (Patton Oswalt stares, David Byrne sings); and a crying competition: Nine contestants. Whistle blows. First tear to hit the table wins.”

WHEN: Thursday, March 1, 7pm
WHERE: Mezzanine, 444 Jessie Street at Mint
TICKETSES: $5, and eek reservations are recommended (RSVP to freedmreading@noisepop.com to reserve a spot)!

best tagline going

Monday, feb. 26, 2007   |   0 comments

Perhaps you have seen this commercial for the Zimmer Gender Knee, “The knee women are talking about.(TM)” And there I was, thinking that all the whispers, winks, and sighs were inspired by MY knee! Such a blow. Though I’m still pretty sure my sprightly esophagus is the reason for all the anonymous flowers and honks in the street I’ve been getting. (And oh how I want a “The esophagus women are talking about.(TM)” tee!)