benatards tonight!

Wednesday, feb. 14, 2007   |   0 comments

Once, while driving through the city with my mother, she spotted a store catering to the needs of bears and bear lovers (Bear Supply? Grin and Bear It? Right to Bear Arms?), and she craned her neck excitedly, trying to note the address. “A bear store! Where are we? I want to come back later when I have more time to SHOP!” (My mother has a lovely stuffed, Steiff-style bear family, with its own rugged farm house, a little pot-bellied stove, pies made out of bottle caps, a pinecone Christmas tree, etc., which she sets up on a shelf over the holidays.) Me: “Oh, mom. I don’t think it’s that kind of bear store. It’s more like a…sexy bear store.”

Which all just to segue: The bears are in town! Which means that Marco’s show at the Eagle Tavern tonight should be just that much more packed with fun, and hair! Here are all the details:

WHAT: The Benatards (a one-night-only rock and roll battlefield, featuring members of The Fivehundreds, Waycross, and Dirty Power)
WHEN: Thursday, February 15, band goes on at EIGHT!
WHERE: The Eagle Tavern
398 12th Street @ Harrison

See you there! I’ll be the one standing next to Jill, who’s flown in just to bear witness.

a twice-chewed beaverwood v-day

Wednesday, feb. 14, 2007   |   0 comments

A few months ago, I randomly discovered a piece of “twice-chewed beaverwood” on eBay (I’ll leave it up to you and your despicable imagination to come up with the search terms I used to get there, because now I actually can’t remember how I did it).

Obviously I was ultra intrigued by something, anything called “twice-chewed beaverwood,” so I clicked in to learn more. But there wasn’t more. That was it! Just a foot-long piece of wood, neatly gnawed by actual beavers at either end. A plain old log! And yet…wouldn’t it look nice up there on the mantle? You know, if ever I owned a mantle? And the price was so right: only $2! Sadly, the shipping was over $20, and ultimately I couldn’t see my way clear to spending twenty-something dollars on what was essentially just a block of wood, albeit fondled by beavers. Allegedly.

So I let the auction go, and went humming about my way. But Marco! He mentioned my discovery to some guys at work, and apparently one of them, a hunter, scoffed and said the forests of California are CRAMMED with twice-chewed beaverwood. So Marco asked him to bring a piece back for me. You know, for Valentine’s Day? And that’s exactly what he did:

It’s totally insane (Marco was laughing and laughing as he dragged it into the house): crumbly and muddy and HUGE…almost five feet long (forget putting it on the mantle, it IS a mantle), but there it is. My very my own piece of twice-chewed beaverwood!

Thank you, Marco! You sure are one awesome Valentine.

so self-help me, god

Wednesday, feb. 7, 2007   |   0 comments

If ever I publish a series of self-help books (and if you’ve spent much time reading this site, you know that’s exactly where things are headed), this is the photo I’m going to put on the cover:

And here’s what the title will be: If a Dog, a Cat, and the Meanest Turtle That Ever Was can Share a Patch of Sunlight, Why Can’t You [X], Where X=Dress Age-appropriately? Or Learn Where to Stand? Or Dance Like Everybody’s Watching?

cupcakes, champagnes, sleep readings

Tuesday, feb. 6, 2007   |   0 comments

I’m going to be signing books and doing Sleep pose readings this coming Thursday (February 8), from 6 to 9pm, at everyone’s favorite Minnie Wilde on 21st at Valencia! It would be so lovely to have you there, patting my pattables — this being my first solo appearance, I’m now suddenly nervous in an entirely new, solo way. And if the idea of me, jittering and babbling and almost surely awash in one drink too many, isn’t enough get you to let those dogs out, there will also be cupcakes and champagne and a 39% discount on all of Minnie Wilde’s Fall things. It’s what Thursdays evenings were made for!

Also: Maybe it’s just me, but it sure seems like a SIGNED copy of The Secret Language of Sleep: A Couple’s Guide to the Thirty-Nine Positions would make a stirring Valentine’s Day gift, right?

ghost riders

Sunday, feb. 4, 2007   |   0 comments

In the midst of all the many funfun activities that got crammed into these past two days — dancing to Rock Lobster and Baggy Trousers at the Riptide (a nice town bar — with old, soft dogs and a fireplace — where my lovely friend Michael now has a fortnightly DJ engagement), dog-walking with Caroleen and Birdy in Pacifica, watching Marco practice up for the big Benatards show (February 15 at the Eagle!), rocking it cake-style for my stepmother’s 60th birthday, ham-and-egg sandwich eating at Bartolo’s, Target browsing, a Monk marathon + What Not To Wear marathon shuffle — Marco and I also caught four-second glimpses of these thrilling sights:

* An awkward dad-man — wearing a helmet and elbow-, wrist-, and knee-pads — rollerblading, in teetering lurches and staggers, right on up a freeway offramp.

* A white, early-80s-style boxy American car ghost-floating down the 580 at 2am, no headlights, with some metal object dragging underneath the chassis, spraying sparks in every direction like an apocalyptic sparkler. With the words “Fast Boy” sprayscrawled along the side in huge, red cursive.

Such a good weekend!