all bottled up

Thursday, oct. 16, 2003   |   0 comments

Handsome and exceedingly fit Jay just bought me my very own, for-keeps Nalgene bottle! You know, those hippie water vessels? Not bota bags. The smokey-grey, wide-mouth bottles made out of bullet-proof, dishwasher-safe, “recommended for ‘extreme’ adventures” plastic. With the blue lids?

Only mine is ridiculous laser pink with a flirty red lid, like a fucking raver valentine! According to the Nalgene site, the searingly colored bottles are “recommended for liquids [and] people who aren’t afraid to show some attitude!” which, I think, sums me up, really captures my most essential juices.

If you have an office job like I do (wow, twins), then you know that when you’re slaughtering time at a desk, hydration is serious business, with its own subset of action items — drinking, refilling, relieving — that when combined can easily hog up a good one or even two hours a day.

Up until now, I’ve been half-assing things with a murky and dented ex-Aquafina bottle featuring a lagoon smell and a square of brown, grubby glue rolls where the label once shined. But now. NOW! Thanks to Jay, I am a water-pounding CHAMPION, a champion pretty much constantly clenched with a need to spray. And thinking of you!