here we o!

Saturday, mar. 1, 2008   |   0 comments

It makes me a little queasy to admit it -- because part of me still clings to that the idea that I'm a unique, un-pin-downable snowflake of individuality -- but I am eerily, undeniably slam dab in the middle of Oprah's O Magazine demographic.

This month's issue -- which, as Oprah says in her intro, is "dedicated to...raising our joy level" -- has this article, "A Month of Living Perfect," where the author, Carol Mithers, shares her findings from a month she spent doing the things we all know we're supposed to do but somehow don't ever do enough of -- floss, exercise, vegetables, vagina crunches -- and surprise the experience was awful...at first, but then it all ended so happily, with Miss Mithers amazed by paucity of her paunch, plus her new flexibility and incredible new-found stores of energy. And I thought to my me, I kind of want to do that! Maybe? And: A person can do pretty much anything for a month, right?

Then I read about Oprah's new reality (show), The Big Give, where do-gooders compete to find innovative ways to move mountains for people in need, like get a homeless family off the streets or grant a dying woman her last wish, and I thought, my brain rubbing its folds together with glee, Manfred MAN am I going cry so hard and so good watching that show!

And then I read the thing where the life-coach shared all the lessons she learned from watching her beagle trot around a golf course or whatever, stuff about how sometimes getting close to your dreams is close enough, and how important it is to focus your time and energies on doing the things that make you salivate, etc. And I thought, Yeah!

Then I read the profile on veggie burgers and how they don't taste nearly as horrible as they did a few years ago, and I thought that sounded pretty toothsome, so I went out and bought of the brands of frozen fauxburgers that they recommended, and they DO taste good! Once you get all the pickles and ketchup and cheese on there!

Then my thinker started thinking, since I was more or less there already, that maybe I should take a chapter from Beth Lisick's new book, Helping Me Help Myself, and totally dedicate the entire month of March to following the Odvice found in this month's issue?

I reread every page, highlighter in hand. (And I'm sure all the other passengers on the the bus I ride home from work every day, who watched me yellowing those words and passages like they held some kind of religious weight, thought I was totally lost and also crazy.) I didn't highlight all of it: since calorie-counting and sugar-cutting make me obsessive and yo-yo mad, I opted to skip any deprivation-related suggestions. Instead I focused on any and all things that sounded like something I would want to add to my life.

And here, in no particular order, is the what I came up with:

March Means More
14 Things I Need More of, According to Oprah:

- More vitamins (especially folic acid, p154, calcium, and the Bs, p162) -- I always find excuses not to take those horsy brown pills because man do they make me gag and think of England, but for the next 30 days I am going to choke those ponies down!

- More media -- not only does Oprah have that new show (Sundays 9/8c on ABC), but she also has a lot of ideas about what I should be listening to, p66, and lining my shelves with, p173. And apparently Natalie Portman is some kind of freak of nature with flawless eyebrows as well as brains, and she has a whole stack of heavy books that she thinks I should read? p186

- More flossing -- so boring, but so important for keeping those healthy, pink gums from migrating upward and leaving your defenseless tooth roots exposed to the elements. p162

- More sunblock, especially on my otherwise-soon-to-shrivel paws. p132

- More environmental friendliness, including more meat alternatives (from burgers, p148, to bags, p120), more refrigerator awareness, p64, and more unplugging the cellphone charger when you're not using it. p120

- More time with the people I love -- it seems that this is one of "the 5 things happy people do." Ap235

- More vegetables -- two and a half cups a day is the recommended amount, and that's maybe two and a quarter more than I eat now, whoops. p162

- More fruit, two cups at least. p162

- More nether strengthening -- you mean you don't have to cross your legs and focus all your might on damming your urinary tract whenever you sneeze? Oh. p162

- More money into my 401(k) -- I have some lean freelance years to make over and should probably, definitely be putting away the maximum now, sigh. p268

- More sleep, seven hours minimum. p162

- More om -- apparently meditation makes the happy centers of your brain glow with monk-like intensity? p230

- More walking -- right now, just in the regular flow of my day (to the casual carpool, from the drop-off corner to work, from work to the bus station, from the bus stop home, plus the daily dog activities), I walk about three miles a day. I'd like to add a one or even two to that. And I want to pick up the pace a bit, too: less meandering, more speed/intention. And better posture. And more time at the gym. And, and, and. p162

- More doing things that I actually like to do -- such as writing in this very online diary, which always makes me happy but which somehow I never seem to find the time time for, huh? p74

o yay!

Sunday, nov. 12, 2006   |   0 comments

I’m so excited! My book got a really nice mention in the spanking-new December issue of O Magazine! It’s in the “BibliO” (!) subsection of the “reading room,” under the subtitle “Deliciously quirky books about visionaries, truth tellers, and bedmates who sleep in style.” And here’s exactly what got said:

“Hugely entertaining and deadpan smart, Evany Thomas’s The Secret Language of Sleep (McSweeney’s) details 39 positions for dormant lovers, from Melting Spoons (that’s Classic Spooning for codependents) to Starfish and Conch (‘the preferred position for couples who fight well together’) and Sixth Posture of the Perfumed Forest (one hand on stomach, opposite elbow across eyes). Amelia Bauer’s line drawings, evocative of prim 1950s sex guides, give this tiny volume its tart appeal.” Isn’t that the best? I am HAPPY!

Meanwhile, and I’m not just saying this because Oprah called my book “hugely entertaining and deadpan smart,” but doesn’t the mighty O look seriously great on December’s cover?

Edited to add: Andrew just filed a complaint about the above entry. “Thanks a lot,” it reads, “the book reviews are my favourite part of my Omag (that’s what we call it on the O discussion boards), and now when my subscription comes this month, I’ve already had part of it ruined for me. JEEZ.” My apologies to Andrew…and also to the rest of yew.