Hollywood Shiticide

Friday, jun. 27, 2003   |   0 comments

Since when is Harrison Ford one of those “old fart” actors who has to make viagra jokes and have creepy parent sex? Last time I checked, he was still playing middle-aged sexy. I don’t know, maybe the Sabrina remake sent him over the hill. Even so, that’s still no excuse for the crazy Hollywood Homicide sex scenes, which lurched from awkward pant-yank-downs to bizarre “I’m the cop, you’re the robber” role playing, with Harrison wearing cop shades and being fed cop donuts! Fuck.

And then there was all the “bad actor on parade” stuff with Josh Hartnett, which felt like meta commentary on his inability to act (cute hair, though).

After that shitstorm, I was hoping there’d be something good on TV when I got home to make me clean again, but instead I got a dose of “Real Sex,” which for some reason I’m compelled to watch whenever it’s on. I guess I just can’t get enough of polyamorous hippies lying in big, heads-in, Busby Berkeley circles and masturbating without using their hands.

Take four, CLAP!, that’s a wrap.