run of the mill crazy

Sunday, mar. 2, 2008   |   0 comments

What do you say to a woman who keeps trotting on the trotmill a full 42 minutes beyond the posted 20-minute-whenever-people-are-waiting limit and then when you remind her of the rules she starts yelling and doing that chin cobra thing about how she waited for her turn and now she's going to take as long as it takes, and THEN she's going to take her two-minute cool down? I don't know if there are any words magic enough to make that kind of entitlement-poisoned person see the error of her ways, but somehow I don't think my sighing eye roll + "babbling hand puppet" finger flap totally captured the spirit of the golden mean?

Meanwhile: I watched the premiere of The Big Give, which wasn't actually so great? The contestants are an off-putting mix of irritating, creepy, and pumped beyond all reason, and the scenes with Oprah calling them all to let them know that they'd won a spot on the show was just painful, with Oprah doing these unfortunate fake accents while the contestants had to pretend to look "puzzled" by this "inexplicable" call from Dee Dee Hee Haw or Gov'nah Pip Pippin Paw or whomsever, and then Oprah would drop her accent for the big reveal that it was her all along! and the contestant would scream and leap and scream in a fit of unbridled "surprise," even though the film crew was there the whole time, which should have given them some kind of hint as to who was calling? Which isn't to say that I didn't cry...five times. But! Four of those were more just misty-eyed moments. I only cracked one audible weep storm, and that was when the down syndrome kids started in with the hugging and clapping, which as you may have guessed is my kryptonite. Much like brown bananas, and Marin County.