sacks and balls (another recap)

Saturday, nov. 25, 2006   |   0 comments

Get this: there’s another Desperate Housewives recap now available for clicking! Male-parts-related highlights include:

“Overly menstrual-focused men are creepy: I once had a hippie tell me, with a serene smile, that he thought a woman’s moon time was like a beautiful flower that blooms every month, and thus should be celebrated, not bemoaned. And then I punched him right in his hacky sack.”

“Carlos calls Tom “T Rex,” and they slap hands and inquire into the status of each other’s balls, specifically how they’re hanging. Apparently, Tom’s are hanging “low and lazy.” Now, is he using balls as a metaphor for his entire state of mind here, which is “lazy”? Or is he literally calling his balls “lazy,” as in a “lazy eye,” as in sort of drifting? Balls are so freaky. Other body parts that freak me out: the roof of the mouth, and the belly button. Perhaps I should mention that it’s actually 3:30 AM right now, and I’m typing at you in a sleep-deprived roar, desperately trying to get his recap done before I leave town. But…the belly button? It’s like this huge puncture scar right in the middle of our smooth bellies! This terrible interruption! But I guess balls are worse. They’re like sea anemones, expanding and contracting and sort of…roaming. Or so I’ve heard. From your mother!”

THE TALLY
Wordcount: 7,934
Hours: one million trillion (I actually pulled an all-nighter this week, typing from dark to dawn, plus a few hours Wednesday, and some hours Thursday morning, and maybe Friday morning, I don’t know, the whole thing was one endless blackout)
Beverages consumed: one tall, tall iced tea, plus turkey, stuffing, stuffing, and pie, pie, pie