slice of life

Sunday, apr. 1, 2001   |   0 comments

Aside from the Evany gum, the Evany hair clips, and the Evany petition (oh and the Evany flow chart, which tracked my evolution from a sperm/egg into the ideal employee), the other thing I brought to that “I’ll do anything for an unpaid internship” presentation were cupcakes. Chocolate cupcakes! Each one had a frosting letter and they were arranged to spell out “E-V-A-N-Y-4-D-D-B” (I guess it helps to know that DDB was the name of the company I was trying to wow). And of the four people sitting around the boardroom table, only one person took a cupcake, and even he ate just half of it. I couldn’t figure it out. It wasn’t that they were afraid of thirsting to death because I had thought to bring milk (low- and regular-fat) and bottled water (for those freaky diet people). Maybe they were too overwhelmed by my dazzle-dancing to chew? Had they just finished lunch? But I don’t care how full you are, there’s always a vacancy in motel stomach for cake. Not only does it taste better than the smell of the sound of rain, but it’s sexy! I was at a bakery recently, Sweet Lady Jane’s, and one of their frosting artists came walking out with a cake in his arms. (Their decorators actually have a thumb-holed palette for the different colors and a special little studio. You can see it all if you take a trip to their bathroom — the tubs of frosting, the cooling cakes, the raw batter dripping off paddles, and, oh, all sorts of other irrefutable proof that god exists — making it one of the most scenic walks in LA.) And the boy-cake combo actually prompted a stirring in my southern states. Yes he was cute, whatever, but the cake! Frosting flowers! Fresh Berries! And a full four layers! Everything below my Mason-Dixon line was on FIRE! Yet those four people sat through my entire half-hour presentation, bare inches from top-grade cupcake meat, and they stuffed exactly none of it in their cake holes! What is wrong with this world?