an etsy let's see

Thursday, nov. 30, 2006   |   0 comments

So what’s a girl to do when it’s cold inside, so cold that even the butter won’t spread? Why, hunker down in bed and Etsy her brains out, of course.

A photo print of lawnmower racing gnomes, $10.

A set of toothsome bobby-pins, $8. Please note that they’ve been mounted in “opposite directions for symmetricalness.” You really have to appreciate a turn of mind that concerns itself with the symmetrical challenge of denture clips. I know I sure do!

A family of rock owls, $63. Look at the one in front, all slumped over and fat and so very heavy, oh bird.

A hand-drawn woodgrain pendant (that’s all pencil drawing magic!), $10.

I heart this heart scarf. The $54 pricetag is a bit steep, but all that hand-painting is definitely worth every penny. Just think how great that thing would look on Valentine’s Day!

For him: the stomach snake tee, $17.

For her: the felt stomach ID holder, $13.

And for that special someone: the pacman ghost tooth hoodie, $125. I’m not so sure what’s going on here, I mean the whole store is just giddy with freakiness, but I know what I love! From the catalog copy for this lip thing:

“It will fuck everything into explosive neon gyration. IT WILL KILL REPTILLIANS. It will save the universe gliding into beautious rainbows and unicorns and DMX & Tu Pac all getting manicures and facials.”

How can you put a pricetag on something that will fuck everything into explosive neon gyration? Well it turns out you can: $75. But, psyche! That dream is sold, sold, sold. Psucker!

lost posts and the disappointment of numbers

Wednesday, nov. 29, 2006   |   0 comments

It looks like I let the previous November/October combo page get soooo long (I’ve since redistributed all the November posts onto this new page) that Diaryland got fed up with me and started to refuse to post all my posts (welcome back, post of October 01, we missed you during your brief absence). Diaryland also protested my phatness by serving up sad, sad pageview numbers, which plummeted to about three a day. Though I guess it’s certainly possible that it wasn’t Diaryland, that I actually, suddenly became some sort of an e-pariah? Like in seventh grade, when Tammy Cohen took a vote and all the tan girls agreed that they didn’t want to be my friend anymore?

Not only that, but the X of my “[X] blogs link here” on Technorati has also been going down on me, and not in an oral sex way. Possibly it’s because their record-keeping-cut-off-point is limited to the last six months, so I guess some numbers might be falling off at the back. But again, it could also be a mass collective turning of backs.

I sure do miss the days when my neuroses led me to avoid checking my site stats at all costs, versus these days, when my neuroses have gotten me into the humiliating habit of checking my stats multiple times a day. Because while it’s depressing to see those numbers dwindle, it’s not nearly as depressing as the fact that link-to-me numbers are capable of turning me blue. I am very small!

(Incidentally, in the time it took to write this post, the ranking of my book on Amazon (sure, I check that, too) has slipped from #11,568 to #19,238. I’m not sure what that number means, exactly. Like how many books need to be sold to alter the number? One? Seven? I know nothing. Other than I’m LOSING LOVE! Numbers are the worst.)

Edited to add: Moving the posts totally fixed everything (thanks, as always, to Andrew for the friendly helps)! So my stats are back to normal, as is my dirty habit of constantly checking said stats. (The Amazon ranking is up to #7,532!) Go outside, Loser Thomas. OUTSIDE!

just like baby smiles and double rainbows

Tuesday, nov. 28, 2006   |   0 comments

Yesterday, while walking around the lake, Piggy and I spotted a single bubble bobbing and floating down the street. Just one, plucky bubble, with not a blower in sight. That can’t be anything but a good sign, right?

heady thoughts

Monday, nov. 27, 2006   |   0 comments

I’m slightly concerned that my head is growing too small for my body. Or, and this is also possible, that my body is growing perhaps just a shade too wide for my head? In which case, the answer may be a slice or two less pie, one or two more squat thrusts. OR, and this sounds like a much better plan, I’m thinking I could fashion an outsized (8/7th scale, maybe) mask of my own face, and start wearing that around.

madonna and friends

Sunday, nov. 26, 2006   |   0 comments

Friday was Brian Mello‘s fortieth birthday, and to celebrate this huge day, we all surprised him with a mass gathering at the insane Madonna Inn. His beautiful and highly motivated wife, Sandra, started organizing all his friends and family three whole months ago, and we’ve all been sitting on our secret reservations for months and months now. Marco and I stayed at the red, red Nautical Way room:

After we creeped around, trying to avoid Brian and Sanra spotting us (which led to a ridiculous, sneaky jog through some weird construction site behind the hotel, which Marco described as like an “episode of the Monkees“), we all gathered at the bar and yelled “yay!” when he and Sandra finally walked in. And then we wagon-trained into town for a decadant cram-fest of pizza, pizza, and more pizza (including a gorgeous “dessert pizza,” a drizzled, apple thing). And then we came back to Peter and Laura’s Tack Room, which was somehow even redder and pornier than our own Nautical Way, and we drank and drank.

Note my shoes! The gorgeous, perfect, perfectly tall, and comfortable Park shoes from Jeffrey Campbell, a birthday present from Marco that has made me so happy:

They’re almost identical to the Marc Jacob’s mary janes, except only cuter (the shape of the toe, plus the color selection, is much better on the Park) and $200 cheaper.

I wound up turning in at a shocking, pathetic 10 o’clock, but the photo session spiraled deep into the night.

The next morning, I woke up bright-eyed and bushy after ten hours of solid coma sleep, and Marco and I joined all the other hungovereds for breakfast in the Madonna Inn café (they have pink sugar in their sugar mills!). And then I climbed some rocks.

(All photos by Marco, you bet.)