epilating for dollars

Sunday, jan. 22, 2006   |   0 comments

A friend of mine, who is a professional barometer of cultural climates (in a marketing sense), contacted me recently to see if I’d like to try an epilator to the tune of $100 (US). Apparently the Norelco Satin Ice Epilator people were looking for a sampling of lady bloggers to test out the girlish groomers. And all I had to do for my hundred dollars (not to mention a free epilator with bonus shaver AND exfoliator attachments) was write up the experience, good or bad. So! Seeing as I’d already willingly had my undercarriage torn asunder for free, and my schedule is pretty much wide open due to still being more-or-less unemployed, the time seemed ripe for epilation.

My epilator arrived last week. I read all the instructions and warnings (an epilator, which specializes in capturing small things in its many pinchers and then yanking them free, is not recommended for people with vericose veins, the implications of which make my spine shrink), and then I placed my ice-pack in the freezer for its two-hour cool-down. Once the “Ice” portion of my Satin Ice Epilator was ready, I began.

All the “Satin Ice Epilator” fixings.

And oh my god and also holy shit, it sure did hurt. Seriously, on the pain scale, “epilation” falls just shy of “getting a tattoo.” Though neither holds a candle to the Brazilian Wax, which feels…well, it feels exactly like having fistfuls of your public hair yanked out. And B-waxing in turn is nothing at all near as bad as the Giger-esque moments that greet you after you wake from having a gangrenous appendix removed.

That said, the ice pack helped sooth the pain quite a bit. And once I made it through the first hair-tearing session (which I accompanied with a steady stream of “ow, ow, ow”), it never hurt anywhere close to that bad again. After four tries, I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t even need the ice pack. I can epilate away and I hardly notice the pain. In fact, I’d say the “pain” of epilation has demoted all the way down to just “lightly burning itch.”

Which brings me to a small problem I have with the Epilator: it has yet to get all my leg hair. Maybe I have super-powered body hair, but no matter how many times I epilate, a fine stubble of hair remains. I’ve tried exfoliating beforehand and I’ve tried taking a bath first (as the literature recommends), but I still can’t quite get a smooth finish. Maybe, for certain select people, it just takes months to get it all? Hm.

All things considered, though, I like the feel of my sparsely stubbled legs WAY more than the sandpaper my legs become mere hours after I shave. And now that I’ve made it over the initial pain hump, I’m totally sold. So, even if I weren’t getting $100 for the review, still I’d say: “Good bye Venus razor and hello Satin Ice hair ripper!”

It even comes with a cute iceberg-blue, snowflake-themed satchel!

Oh and also: the shaver attachment works like crazy. But be aware: as my (now-shivering) nethers were startled enough to discover, it’s an “all or nothing” kind of setup. (Though as I type these words it occurs to me that I might have pushed the attachment beyond its intended usage. If so, my bald tootie and I apologize for the bad science!)