good things

Wednesday, nov. 16, 2005   |   0 comments

Good things are happening! For one thing, Josh’s Fireland turned ten this month, and he’s celebrating with a five-dollar book+CD combo (mine just arrived and looks/sounds/reads GORGEOUS). Also Sunny got her crazy concierge job, Adrienne, after many, many interviews, got the job she so wanted at KQED’s Spark, and Pamie‘s episode of Hot Properties aired on Friday (and it was funny! “The ‘Come and Go’ Hotel”? “If I have to wear a bra, the terrorists win”? “Human kidney for a ticket”? Hahaha!). But also the book that I WROTE with my TYPING FINGERS is now listed on Amazon, which means it’s REAL! It’s called A Field Guide to Couples’ Sleeping Positions and Their Meanings, and it will be hurtling toward a store somewhat near you in March(ish), 2006. When I found out it had been given the go (which happened only this Monday), I burst into tears of happy (though, granted, my pump had been well-primed by this week’s Grey’s Anatomy). In summary: joy, relief, exhuastion, book!

Also: Real Name™ Amazon reviewer “Paul Sas” describe the Tyrolian Harvest sausage catalog that Marco (photographer) and I (writer) made (along with designer Peter Kaplan) for McSweeney’s Issue 17, as “rich,” which might be in reference to the catalog itself or the vegetable spreadables referred to within, but either way, I celebrate.

All that stuff, AND I had a sweet weekend. My horoscope said that it would be “filled with excitement and happy experiences,” and it WAS. Marco took me to my very first hockey game (Sharks v. Stars), and on our way to San Jose, we stopped for ginger cookies at Bakesale Betty‘s, and husband of Betty (who, like Hootie’s Darius, is actually “Alison”) loaded me up with a hyper-discounted sampler of scones and cookies and lamingtons and tea, which I got for the price of just $4.00. My tip? Undying love.

The game itself was insane. We sat four rows back from the glass, right next to the goal, so we got some seriously up-close views of the boys. (They chew gum! And did you know that when they check each other’s heads, the glass rocks back like a whole foot? Totally 3D EXTREME!) The Sharks fans really, really brought the noise, and two of them also one infant dressed as a Shark. Marco super-randomly asked them, “Hey, where did you get that costume?” and the couple, in clear reaction to the subtext of the question (i.e., “Where can a forty year-old man get such a shark costume?”), gave us the total cold shoulder. And, and? Comcast, in an apparent attempt to win the “worst campaign concept ever” contest, hired actors to embody the incredible FASTNESS of the company’s high-speed internet connectivity. The actors were outfitted with horrific, gruesome makeup, which was supposed to look like their faces were being blown back by terrific speeds but really just made them appear to be disfigured by a tragic plastic surgery accident (think Jack Nicholson as the Joker, after the bullet went through both cheeks and his face was burned by toxic things). Their hair was all “blown back” in weird Sideshow Bob dreadlocks, too. Wearing this ensemble, the actors had to walk briskly around the pre-game crowd (thereby scaring both me and Marco witless, I am not kidding, my thighs loosened at the sight of them), and then later one of them rode the Zamboni, his body quivering in an attempt to simulate high speeds while sitting atop a very, very slow-moving ice-smoothing machine. So that happened, and also blood bounced on the ice on TWO separate occasions and Miller Lite cost $7.50 per (plastic) bottle. It was like an alien planet!

Then on Sunday, after the requisite viewing of Desperate Housewives (which wasn’t bad at all this week!), Marco and I were treated to an impromptu Rolling Stones concert: from way across the city, we could see the lights from Pac Bell Park, hear Mick singing Jumping Jack Flash, everything! Sitting on my couch in my darkened, sixth-floor apartment, listening and looking at the stadium rocking from afar like a little ant concert, it seemed pretty magical.

The weekend’s horoscoped themes of “happy” and “excitement” even stretched back into last week, when a whole other great thing happened: I visited
Adam at the Mythbusters set, where I was privileged to see the fart-catching machine he built. I also watched them film a scene with a statistician, which was weirdly fascinating (who knew how very much it takes to set up an acceptable testing environment, and how different each test has to be depending on each test’s variables? Science is work, and yet…interesting). Also, Adam and Jamie look even BETTER in person. As does the shop, which is packed with amazing odd models of swollen hands and stretched phones. Best use of (f)unemployment EVER!

To celebrate all this live-long yay, I decided to reward myself with some of the things I’ve been ogling and coveting for many painful months. And…what? It was all suddenly ON SALE! The Scenic Sheets at Delia’s, the Pinestripe Top at OK47, even the Yanuk jeans at Loehmann’s! At the risk of tempting the party-crashing fates, I say to you now that life sure is good these days!

OK47’s Pinestripe Top: my torso is going to be its very own forest! You’ll have to leave breadcrumbs all over me not to get lost.

Scenic Sheets from Delias (I know, more bird crap).