hand massage, balloon sex, and other craftiness

Thursday, mar. 6, 2003   |   0 comments

Last week, due to some hasty cutting and pasting, I accidentally sent out the Webmonkey newsletter to hundreds of thousands of people with “Hand Massage, Balloon Sex” as the subject line (granted, it was supposed to be “Elbow Grease — Hand Massage, Balloon Sex, and Fanta,” which is better, but not by much). For some reason, this a) makes me laugh every time I think of it, but b) means that probably half of the subscribers didn’t get the email due to the diligent work of their spam filters, which c) is sad, considering what an inbox-cheerer a “Hand Massage, Balloon Sex” email would have been for all those people.

On an oddly related note, I had a terrible day Monday for a variety of reasons, not the worst of which: the place that I usually buy my MUNI pass didn’t get them in until noon (on March 3rd? What?), and I was there at nine, so I had to take the Freaky 14 (since BART doesn’t have a grace period that lets you use last month’s pass) and transfer to a second bus, only I managed to get on some spectacularly wrong second bus and wound up on the FREEWAY going to this crazy new land that I’d never, ever seen before.

When I got off and crossed the street, hoping to find a bus stop that would help me reverse my errors, it started raining. So there I was, standing in rain in the middle of fucking Narnia or Brigadoon or wherever, and my sidekick beeps that I’ve got mail. Since I had a true glut of time on my hand at that point, I went ahead and read it, and lo! It was from someone who had just finished reading about my history, and wanted to chat about my first memory, which revolves around sitting on a balloon. The reader went on to confess, in the very politest of terms, that he, too, has some fine balloony memories and wonders if maybe I had any other “special” balloon-sitting incidents that I might like to share? In other words, I got email from a balloon sex fetishist! I think! Which rules pretty hard. But Monday was still beyond saving.

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Hey, last night I added a “my crafty“ section to my site! See? I do more than watch television. (No, not really.)