robot greetings and more bra rah-rah

Friday, jul. 14, 2006   |   0 comments

I’ve been thinking how weird it is that the people in charge of things make robots polite. Like, when you go to park in a garage, and the machine says, “Please take a ticket,” would you actually be offended if the robot neglected to say “please”? And then when you go to leave a garage and you insert your paid ticket and it tells you to “Have a nice day!”, does that actually brighten anyone’s day? Knowing that a machine wished it on you? Maybe it’s just me, but I think it would be tons better if they embraced the roboty nature of the machines and have them say like, “Take the ticket, HUMANOID! YOUR FLESH MAKES YOU WEAK!” in a satanic, “bow before me” voice. Or like, “Freakazoids, robots, I COMMAND YOU to report to the dance floor.”

Which somehow reminds me, I was out of town for Marco‘s birthday, and he wound up taking himself out to one of the tired diners in the neighborhood for dinner (or wait, maybe this was on Christmas Eve? anyway, it was some super-depressing occasion where Marco had to entertain himself solo, which he claims to actually kind of like?). As he described it, the place was scattered with lank, grey-colored alcoholics and toothless lonely people, and the food was really bad. So Marco eats his brown, brown dinner and then he pays, and when he goes to leave, the awesome genius counterperson calls out, “See you next week!” Like some kind of chilling prediction. Haha! Now THAT’s how it’s done! Way to subvert those mandatory customer-service scripts!

PS: Jocelyn just sent me a link to a new article about the amazing bra people who fixed my form when I was in NYC. That last line, it made me mist! It’s like a visit with Mr. Rogers, but with some extra bonus breast fondling thrown in.

Hair (Portland, day two): still wet from my shower of four hours ago. Acne: wretched, shocking (thanks a lot, FACE, I only have to get up in front of many (we hope) strangers tonight). PMS: 100% in charge.