abroad where a broad should be broad

Wednesday, oct. 21, 2009   |   0 comments

It takes a lot longer to get ready these days, what with having to assemble backup diapers and wipes and blankets and sunblock and in-case-of-shitstorm outfits, then snacking the baby up with some last-minute boob action, then winching the baby into his carseat. Where once I was a lithe speedboat, jetting off on a moment’s notice, now I am a bloated luxury liner that takes half a day just to change direction.

Preparing to leave town on my own for a gift of a weekend takes even more foresight and planning, plus weeks of groggy 3am milkings to lay in enough food to keep the gobble monster going in my absence.

I was worried that no single weekend could live up to the kind of expectations that involved preparation can sometimes breed, but my worries were, as usual, totally unfounded. It truly was a glorious getaway. I got my back meat massaged! And my chi yoga-ed! I wore a dress! (Turns out you don’t get to wear many dresses while breast feeding, not unless you want to hike everything up to the rafters — leaving the rest of your parts fully exposed to all eyes and elements — whenever the baby wants to initiate docking procedure.) I got to play fancy lady with a bunch of high-end skincare products! I overheated myself in the hot tub! I overate sea-salted brownies! I drank oceans of wine, and coffee, without fear of sousing or wiring the baby with tainted milk! I got to slumber-party with one of my all-time-favorite writers! And I got to lounge with a very special concentration of attractrive, life-seizing ladies, including rarely seen friends who sadly live too far away for comfort.

Unfortunately I took close to no pictures, mostly because my picture-snapper was otherwise occupied clutching goblets of wine. But also there were just so many talented photographers in our midst (see: Maggie, Zan, and Heather), my cheesy instamatic and I were totally outgunned and superfluous.

I returned home feeling renewed, reinvigorated, re-relaxed, and also lucky and mega thankful. Hugging on you from here, Broad Summit Organizers!